


Not Too Late

by BeautifulDistraction



Category: Nikolai Series - Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, King of Scars, Romance, king of scars spoilers, lots of feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 15:24:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17900693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeautifulDistraction/pseuds/BeautifulDistraction
Summary: It is the day Nikolai will publicly announce his engagement to the Shu princess, and Zoya is mentally kicking herself.





	Not Too Late

**Author's Note:**

> I need to see these two happy ;;

He stood, a vision in black and white, gazing out the gilded window frame into a distance that was past Zoya's line of sight. This was the time, her last chance to take her future in her hands and shape it for herself.

It was a selfish thought, a refusal of the reality they lived in. How could Zoya think of confusing the King on the day he would announce his engagement, of all days? No, she had lost her chance. She wouldn't even think of it. She urged her feet to cross the boundary of the open doorway into Nikolai's room, bringing herself closer to the man unconsciously fidgeting with a corner of his sleek fitting coat.

Zoya had dressed carefully for today too, her navy flowing gown complementing the soft golden brown tones of her skin. She was aware of the heads she'd turned as she had made her way from the Little Palace this late afternoon, but today she had not bothered to return the looks of awe with scathing ones of her own. Her thoughts, and those of her constant companion, Juris, had a single focus.

These damn feelings of hers.

Something had shifted between her and the King in the Fold. Both of them had opened up in a way they had never done before, and it felt irreversible.

So she had found it terribly inconvenient to discover that the source of her stomach upsets, and increased mood swings since she and Nikolai had returned was not a simple sickness, but the gravest of all. Love. She loved him. She loved the king who put his life and needs second to the people he was sworn to protect. The king who caught her as she fell, every time. Who schemed and schemed, but never towards an evil goal. Who balanced her anger, her pain, and her sorrows with his own.

  
The king who had never let her down.

Unknowingly she had been waiting years for the other shoe to drop. For him to suddenly show a side of himself that everyone else had, and betray her beyond any redemption. It was because of this that she had kept waiting and ignored the growing feelings that Juris had seen in her within a moment of touching her mind and soul.

But she had been wrong to distrust him for so long when he had showed her his worthiness in so many ways. And now her chance was lost.

She cleared her throat. He looked up, startled for a split second before his face smoothed out into the open look he reserved for his closest advisors, or perhaps just her. She didn't know. Was he as forthright with others as he was with her? She questioned everything she once knew, since the revelation.

"Zoya."

"Your highness, the events for the evening will begin soon, as the sun looks about to set. Genya is with her royal idiot, Princess Ehri, so I've been told it is my 'task' to see to your needs tonight." The King cringed. "However, as you well know anything you _need_ you can get yourself or do without when I'm around." She paused. "What is that in your hand?"

Something had glinted briefly in Nikolai's hand as he'd turned and moved away from the window, towards her. He'd attempted to slide his fist into his coat pocket but nothing escaped Zoya's sharp eyes.

He looked down at the closed fist now, his lips turning upwards in a bitter smile. "It is my future, dear Zoya." She shortened the distance between them, gown rustling as she moved, and gently pulled his fingers away to reveal a small, silver-gold ring embedded with gems rare enough to fund the construction of a new town.

Steadying herself she replied, "It is what Ravka needs." The people first, always. Her palm was under his, supporting the weight of the ring he held.

"Is it though?" His eyes met hers, stare intense. "We receive aid from the Shu empire, and then what? We keep a Princess, turned Queen, who cares little for her new home or people? That's unlikely to change too, she's made that entirely clear with me. She could sabotage us, or create havoc with officials. Ravka's court is then pushed further backwards, to the mess it was before."

He lifted his hand and spun away from her abruptly, frustration etched on his face. "This is all wrong. I've been too concerned with the Darkling and the Fjerdans to think this through clearly. But a marriage to the Shu princess is the wrong move for Ravka." He added more softly, "it's the wrong move for me, too." His spare hand pulled through his hair, messing it up yet somehow making him more alluring to look at.

"There's no clear right move, only the best we've got. Ravka needs an heir and an alliance with the Shu is as beneficial as it is not. You need to marry." She felt an anger rising in her. They'd been planning this engagement for a week now, the King had had all the time in the world to back out. A part of her had hoped he would. But now, they had carriages arriving by the dozens, with officials and representatives from all states and countries waiting to witness King Nikolai publicly state his already rumoured intention of marriage to the Shu princess. They had placed the rumours themselves, after Isaak's death, stirring up a heated story of an unexpected love blooming between the two royals.

And he wanted to back out? No, not on her watch. He seemed to notice the moment her mood changed, and a steel of his own crept into his demeanour.

"I need to marry, yes. But I won't marry a stranger who hates me and the country I've worked so hard to rebuild. No. I will marry someone I choose to, who I at the very least care about." As he spoke he leaned his face forward, nearer to hers.

"Again with this." She seethed.

"Yes!" He hissed back. "Yes, again! I should never have given up on it to begin with. But Zoya Nazyalensky, you can't be pushed, and though I didn't want to, there is no more time! No more time to tiptoe around it. Look at me." He paused, breathing shakily. Despite herself, Zoya looked, her heart a mess and her mind for once silent. "Ravka needs a queen to lead her. A queen, not an alliance! A queen."

"You've had years," she spat, suddenly tired of it. Tired of all the feelings that refused to be repressed.

"I know."

"Marry her until she produces an heir, then we will have an accident befall her," she said with no conviction.

"No, Zoya."

"There are other ways around this."

"I know. I don't want them." The king took a step closer and Zoya didn't know whether she would flee this, one last time, or take the same step he did, to a moment they both could not predict.

Outside, the sun was casting it's final rays, lending the room the ambiance of a dark purple and wine red glow.

She took the step. "I- you know that I can't -”

"Lost for words?" He smirked slightly. "No matter how your words turn out, at least I will have had the pleasure of seeing this."

She growled and yanked on his jacket, pulling him down so they were eye to eye. "Say. It."

She dared him with her scowl to ask her _what_ , but he seemed to think better of it. Perhaps he was tired too.

"If I do, as your King I order you to respond truthfully." She huffed, then his thumb brushed her lips as he cupped her face with one hand and any thought of sniping back at his _order_ was forgotten. "Only the truth, Zoya."

She tugged him again, unsure but unable to find words.

He inhaled deeply, seconds passing before he spoke again. "I love you," he breathed out, barely a whisper. "I will marry no one else. I will give my kingdom no other queen than the best I know."

She made a choking sound, overwhelmed. Moments passed. "This is a mistake," she shook her head.

"The truth, General!" Nikolai stopped her firmly, his eyes gleaming and free hand moving to grab hers fiercely.

"I'm not a queen, the people fear me!"

"They love you just as much."

"I'm not a ruler either. If you give up Ehri, you give up an alliance with the Shu."

"There are other ways," he mimicked her.

"I have nothing to offer you or Ravka that I haven't already given."

"Then just give me your heart and that will be enough."

She loved him. She couldn't say it but he knew. She would never have bothered to argue, and so weakly at that, if she didn't. She thought she might be trembling slightly too. They had spent years beside each other, years of mutual respect turning to like, turning to a love so deep they had both feared what it would do to them. But her King was brave, so his General would have to be too. Tears sprung to her eyes as she tilted her head up and allowed him to rest his forehead against hers.

He took his hand off her face, joining it with the one gripping her smaller hand. She felt something slide onto her finger.

"Okay," she exhaled, soft as the wind. He kissed her slowly then, for minutes or hours, Zoya didn't know. She stopped thinking and gave herself to the moment completely.

They would try this. Hard as it would be they would find a way and try it. 

The party outside could wait, Ravka could wait - for just a little. These moments in the slowing dusk they would take for themselves, a reminder of a promise and a future that they would hold on to in the rocky days to come.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't write a lot ~~at all~~ so I hope this wasn't too bad. Let me know if there are mistakes! I also welcome constructive criticism. 
> 
> I tried to keep them in character but I'm sorry if I didn't manage it!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
